Voices Carry

It’s 2012, a Presidential election year, the Rs and Ds are in a standoff and we have squatters occupiers in several cities…occupying and claiming they represent the 99% with their views and “demands”.

Last night the Husband and I happened on the latest Republican debate. We had a brief discussion about who our choice was for the Republican nominee. He asked who I was leaning toward and I couldn’t answer. Yes, it’s still early but truth be told I don’t believe any of them are going to do anything different and the one eventually chosen elected will be the one that was agreed upon in a backroom deal of sorts. The puppet masters will decide what candidate gives them the most power and return on their investment at the expense of what the people and our country need and want.

Obama promised the sun, the moon and the stars and proceeded to put them out of reach. He promised more visibility with legislation and we discovered bills had to be passed in order to know what they contained. He promised job growth yet he made decisions that sent jobs to other countries. He promised Hope and Change. In my opinion he fostered a divided country instead of a united one.

I recommend reading this article from Seth Godin…Learning Leadership from Congress. Spot on Seth!

Lastly, the “occupiers”…dear sweet occupiers. I could go into a long diatribe but I won’t…but I will say this…although I commend them for “organizing” across the country, the lack of structure they hold so dear will lead to their demise. OH!…and you all do not represent me.

I opened this up to my Facebook and Twitter accounts…and it’s a leap.

I will close with this…my intent is to not offend. We have a problem with our elected officials going rogue (both R & D’s) as soon as they acquire their Washington seats. Something has got to change and we the people…the ones footing the bill…have an obligation to tell them they are doing it wrong.

These are the Chronicles of Reddaisy and so it is written.

What say you?

Five Faves Friday

Looky there…the first week of 2012 is done. I don’t know about you all but I’m glad to get back to the regularly scheduled programing that is my life. Christmas tree and décor was down and packed away on day two after Christmas! Don’t get me wrong I enjoy Christmas and the anticipation of events and the time spent with fam but when it’s over I’m ready to move on…quickly.

Things I’m lovin’ this week.

1. My brown boots. Thanks Santa. (I know him…)

I work in a chemical plant now…very different from the console of mission control at NASA but a great job none the less. My attire has gone from an array of skirts, dress pants (doesn’t the word slacks just make you think of the 70’s) and capris to jeans. Open toed shoes and high heels are not allowed and although I now own my first ever pair of steel toed shoes I do not have to wear them unless I go into a unit (admit it…the 12 year old inside is snickering right now) which to date has been a big fat NEVER. So boots are now a part of my everyday wardrobe and I now have a pair of black and brown ones. I am sooo cute!

2. The gym

Yes, I am a JR (January Re-Joiner)…three times this week (GO ME!). The first couple of days were mental. I thought for sure that everyone that I saw glance my way was judging me and I would talk myself down of the anxiety ledge. They prolly couldn’t give a rats patooty. If they did care I’m going to prove to their judgey judge a lot selves that I’m here to stay. AND I’ve made it to work on time…everyday…AND getting ready at the same time as the hubs has actually been pleasant. Before this week I would only get up after he left because I didn’t want him talking to me. (I’m not a morning person).

3. My 8 year anniversary

Source

This is officially the longest marriage I ever had. (In a previous life (holy cow…10 years ago I may or may not have been married for 7 years). I received beautiful roses and a card. The hubs and I are partaking in a winery event this weekend. We get to prune the grapes ourselves, enjoy some eats and drink wine. Then we are going to watch the Texans win with actual people other than our kiddos. I may even order “nuclear wings” and wish for a time machine. (If you don’t watch Whitney…you totally should)

4. “Drinking with Strangers” by Butch Walker

Source

Santa brought me a new book for Christmas…an actual book…with a hard cover and paper in the middle…it is very retro. Fortunately I am on the receiving end of my husband’s love for music. My current favorite bands would have past me by if I was left to the mercy of the radio play. If I recall the hubs was playing Butch when we were in his car and I was like…who is this and where can I get more? Now, go download all of his music from the following bands: Marvelous 3, 1969, Butch Walker, Butch Walker and the Let’s Go Out Tonightes, Butch Walker and the Black Widows…NOW. Then read his book…READ IT. He is a great writer. I would love to go kick back with a bottle or two of wine and be the room with greatness. He needs to come to Houston like this weekend or even better the hubs and I need to road trip it to one of his shows.

5. The “Do Over” feeling of a New Year.

Source

Everyone handles the New Year differently and to each their own. To me the New Year is a do over, an opportunity to do it better than the last. I look forward to the year that is full of promise and possibilities I have to remind myself to stay in the moment and make the most of each and every one. Like the other night and the impromptu shadow puppet show with the hubs we laughed the entire time.

My day is complete…apparently Chaz Bono is ready to date again. I am beside myself.

Looking forward to weekend pleasures… Vampires, Wine, Texans Playoff Football, Wings!

When One Door Closes… – Part 3

To recap…here is part 1 and part 2. And finally…

I put my big girl undies on and I went in search of the answers to “Why me?” According to my manager these were some of the reasons I was selected to be included as part of the layoff:

• I was the perceived ring leader of a clique and this was an opportunity to break it a part.
• It was perceived that I came and went as I pleased.
• It was perceived that I did not effectively train a coordinator (1 out of 12)
• I didn’t follow established processes.
• Three separate issues were documented affecting flight preparation.
• I was not able to travel freely.
• It was perceived that I did not play well with others, in my department, outside of my clique. But I was awesome to the customer.
• It was perceived that I showed favoritism when providing work related services and only provided those services to those in my clique.
• I didn’t fit into Management’s “vision” of a Dream Team.

I couldn’t decide if I wanted to include the above but in the end I thought it was necessary. To remind me where I came from and remember where I’m going. There is no point in refuting these perceptions, I am adult enough to admit there is partial truth to some and bottom line…people see what they want to see both good or bad.

On August 16th I interviewed with a company in front of 5 different people and nailed it.

On August 23rd I came back for a familiarization tour and was told “informally” that I was the one they wanted for the job.

On August 29th I was formally offered a Technical Site Office Document Specialist position with Bayer Material Science.

On September 19th – five weeks from the end of one career I began another.

I leave you with two emails. The first email is one I sent to my colleagues, managers, flight directors, crew members, and people that have generally influenced me during my tenure working for the Human Spaceflight Program. The final email is from my husband, sent to me on my last day of work at NASA.

Subject: Thank You!

All,

The sun has set on my time occupying this seat in DO3…I would like to thank everyone for all of the wonderful experiences I have enjoyed over the past 11 years working in the Human Spaceflight Program. I appreciate the opportunities I have been given with United Space Alliance and would like to thank each of you for the guidance, support, and friendship you have shown me over the years. I will take the MANY…MANY…many…amazing memories and experiences with me as I begin a new chapter.

For those that wish to keep in contact, I can be reached by email at sallenwayne@gmail.com or by cell at 281-XXX-XXXX.

Sincerely and Best Regards,
Sandy Wayne

Subject: When one door closes…
…another one opens.

You have many doors in front of you, and I am confident that the one you choose to open will prove to be a terrifically rewarding one for you. You have so much to offer and any organization should be thrilled to have you and your skill set. What I hope for you is that you find a challenging, stimulating situation that reignites the fire you show in your work when you are passionately invested. It’s the kind of passion that is rare nowadays and there is an employer out there who’s going to think “How was this one still available?”

If it’s not already understood, I’m here for you in whatever capacity you need me to be. I have no concerns…neither should you. The next chapter will be on your terms. And there’s nothing more filled with possibilities than that.

There is a lyric from a song (“Headful of Doubt”) I really like that is eerily appropriate…

When nothing is owed or deserved or expected
And your life doesn’t change by the man that’s elected
If you’re loved by someone, you’re never rejected
Decide what to be and go be it.

I have no doubt you’re going to find something that will make you realize that this was the best thing that could have ever happened to you. Until then, your Foiled Again! Chocolate Coins employee number is 002. Sorry…001 was already taken. By Roz from Monster’s Inc.

Decide what to be and go be it.

xxx

Love,
Your boss

How I love that man of mine and can you tell music has a huge influence on our relationship.

I have taken away so much from this experience…compassion, humility, trust.

I am one of the lucky ones my story had a happy ending and there isn’t a minute of the day that goes by that I am not thankful.

I am a better person and the opportunity is infinite!

Thanks for sticking with me…I plan on posting more frequently. I miss this.

Wishing everyone safe and happy holidays.

Peace.

My Big Girl Undies – Part 2

You can find Part 1 here.

After a week of going through the motions I knew I had to determine my next steps. I was responsible for coordinating Flight Data File procedures for the final Shuttle mission, STS-135. I was also responsible for management of the ODF procedures for the EVA Systems book that would require not one but two books to be flown on ULF7 in two completely different configurations and I was pissed off and bitter.

My motivation for not just walking out the door and leaving my responsibilities to those that were selected as part of the “dream team”…severance.

Even though over 1500 people received a WARN notice…I felt alone. Talk of future projects was limited to those that were staying and I went from being in the know, a lead, to feeling like a pariah. I was instructed to attend meetings that provided information for the layoff process and I walked out of many of them in tears…I didn’t belong.

I threw myself into my work; I had an obligation to the STS-135/ULF7 crew and to my colleagues that were losing their jobs at the end of the Shuttle program.

I do not believe there was a job that I was both qualified and unqualified for on the internet job boards that I didn’t apply for. In the beginning I was applying for Project Manager positions with the attitude that EVERYONE would want to interview my awesome self…I worked for NASA for goodness sake…to applying for an Administrative Assistant near the end just to get my foot in the door. The closer I got to August 12th, the more panicked I became and I was seriously considering applying for a position at McDonald’s. Not that I am beneath a job as an admin assistant or working at McDonald’s but hell I had a role in successfully putting people in space for the last decade…and that didn’t mean a damn thing.

June 15th was my coming out party, before then only my closest friends knew my employment status. I made the decision that I was the only one that was going to improve my circumstances.

A job fair was held on June 15th by the Aerospace Transition Center (ATC). There were so many of us that were losing our jobs that the company provided our own Transition Center…unfortunate but notable. I had never attended a job fair before so I researched every company in attendance and applied for everything that remotely pertained to my skills. I visited booths of each company that I had applied to online and I tried to get the most out of the experience. I did refrain from stock piling the freebies…that was not my purpose…can’t say the same for others. Four hours later I left the event feeling totally drained and a sense that I had wasted my time.

Even though work was frantic I tried to participate in every Shuttle event possible, as it was the last. I found solace by surrounding myself with people that were in the same predicament as I and could sympathize with what I was going though. My friends, although supportive, weren’t losing their jobs and in my mind there was no way they could remotely understand where I was emotionally.

As time went by my bitterness faded when I thought there may be a chance my WARN notice would be retracted after management saw the error of their ways. Not that I really wanted to stick around after I discovered what management thought of me but it indeed was the path of least resistance.

My job search continued, mainly online, and my spreadsheet listing the companies and positions I applied for grew longer and longer by the hour. A long time friend referred me to an acquaintance of hers on LinkedIn, we had a few email exchanges that ended with her(a complete stranger) telling me to pull my head out of my ass and that my situation wasn’t special and if I wanted a job then I had to work for it. Ouch… it was hard to hear but apparently that was just what I needed. If someone in my circle had said the same thing I probably would have discounted the advice and continued to wallow in my pity party.

With new determination I became a LinkedIn expert as I sifted through the wealth of information and abundance of forums. I developed a strategy to contact HR representatives on LinkedIn, unsolicited, and inquire on the status of the jobs that I had applied for. I generally became a pain in the ass. If I knew you or knew someone that knew you I was contacting you for a job.

The final shuttle landing would happen July 21st at 4:57 CDT and I was at JSC standing on the lawn in front of building 1 with my friends, colleagues and their friends and family watching history on a Jumbotron.

The next day I received a request for a phone interview from a company that I spoke with at the job fair.

Finally, retractions went to others and because I had an idea of how many people they were keeping I accepted my fate that I was leaving. It was time for answers. Although the ending of the Shuttle program prompted layoffs in our department management took the opportunity to pick and choose those that remained in order to create a sort of “Dream-Team” in their mind. I don’t blame them but for me…an International Space Station girl…it hurt.

I put my big girl undies on and I went in search of the answers to “Why me?”

To be continued…believe me…you will thank me later.

Moooah!

Numb – Part 1

I have gone back and forth on how to “document” the latest journey through life. I’ve started a play by play and stopped…I thought it was too technical and lacked emotion…then I went negative…and although it was a struggle within…that is not my goal in writing this. I’m so ready to put this burden to bed. To prevent you from glossing over halfway through I am breaking this entry up into two parts.

This entry started over a year ago…with this.

When I reread my blog entry and Sarah’s as well, I think about what I know now and what I didn’t know then…what a difference a year makes.

My world changed on May 10th, 2011. On this day I would be given the decision as to whether I had a job come August 15th. Leading up to this day I was preoccupied with a side of uncertainty.

In the afternoon I received a text from my manager to leave the meeting I was in and report to her office immediately; I thought the abruptness of the text was a bit odd but I didn’t have much time to dwell. The moment I walked in the door I knew. The air was heavy with anxiousness. Her back was to me and I immediately spotted a piece of paper that was turned face down. I was asked to wait for a second member of management to be present. Warning bells went off in my head…this was not how previous meetings went.

I was “formally” told that I was receiving a WARN notice and immediately my ears started ringing and my brain clouded over. I was being talked at by people in the room but all I could hear were the voices inside my head questioning what the fuck just happened and what the hell was I going to do now. How are we going to get through this? How am I going to find another job? The blood, sweat and tears I sacrificed throughout my twelve year career was all for not at this very moment. I just wanted to sit there and cover my ears and pretend it was all a bad dream.

When the “official” one-sided conversation was finally over…I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I walked down the hall in a fog. And the hall grew longer and the end was a black void. I went to my friend’s office and delivered the news. We cried for a bit and when we were both out of things to say I went back to my desk and I sat there…numb.

I had to get out of there. I sent my manager a text and told her I was leaving for the day and I didn’t wait for a response before I was on my way to the parking lot. I called my husband on the way home. I’m not sure what he felt the moment I told him the news and I can’t remember what he said verbatim but I know he was very supportive and reminded me that there was a reason for everything and that we would get through this. Rationally I knew this to be the case but when you are living it…real-time…and have to relive it every minute as if you were stuck in the movie Groundhog Day…I felt less than and questioned every part of who I was.

A few weeks before this all went down the husband introduced me to a new to me band The Airborne Toxic Event (TATE)…my new favorite band. “Numb” is my career breakup song:

I’ve been in a daze
It seems like days that I’ve been waiting
For this dream to pass
It goes so fast
It seems nothing lasts
I think I’ve lost something

Stuck here with these people
While you wake I crush our bodies in one space
I feel your heart blood from my tongue
I wonder where you’ve gone

And the ever turning spinning wheel of people, places
Lies I feel
The restless beat of the sleepless night to come
I just want to be numb
I just want to be numb

Hopeless these three [twelve] years like smoking years
I go from place to place
Just endlessly and half asleep
Like I’m falling alone at some endless breach

I don’t know where I am
I don’t know what I’ve done
I just go over it again and again and again
I can’t sleep at night
I can’t breathe
But If I drink tonight I’ll get you off my mind

And the ever present pit I feel
I’m turning on some spinning wheel
Of faces and the scenes I see
And none of it seems real to me
Just the bleary haze of the morning still to come

I just want to be numb

Both fortunately and unfortunately I was on vacation the next couple of days. Fortunately, I was out of the office and didn’t have to deal with the scarlet letter that I imagined had been branded on my back. Unfortunately, because the following day we were going on a family vacation to Matagorda and I had a hard time being in the present. Poor timing…among other things…sent us home a couple of days earlier than initially planned (but that is for another post).

When I returned to work that following Monday and every subsequent day I entered the gates of JSC I felt a stab of pain. I NEVER thought this would end on terms other than mine.

To be continued…

Thank Heavens for 2011

Organization…direction…completeness…these are the things I need in my life. Can I get an “amen” from the hubby.

This list is not a bunch of resolutions that will soon be forgotten in a month or two but goals that I want to accomplished/complete this year. Most of them have been hanging around for much too long.

2010 was a rather challenging year for me and I am in an effort to actually put into practice my motto “working to constantly better myself”…no “working on a better constant..” no…”working on a state of constantly bettering myself”…wait…”working on a constant state of self improvemnt” .  How sad that I had to look on my facebook account to remember my fav quote.  I need this to point me in a positive direction, set an example for my kiddos and be “available” to my fam.

This list does not by any means cover all aspects of my goals but it is a manageable starting point.

Here is my list…in no certain order and may be subject to additions as I see fit:

1. Lose 30 lbs by June 1st (that’s 6 lbs per month)
2. Get back to running 3 miles at one time, 2 X a week
3. Volunteer once a month
4. See Granny once a quarter
5. Finish all of the projects I have purchased and/or started (I will not add to my project list until those listed are complete!)
6. Declutter my office closet at the end of the year…clutter…clutter…clutter
7. Quarterly declutter with a trip to Goodwill

I will do quarterly checkups on my progress and reward myself for accomplishing the goals identified for the quarter with a $50 Visa card.

Here are the projects I have either started or committed to start:

1. Scott’s office – Q1
2. PMP Certification – Q1 – I’m going to give myself an extra $50 Visa card for this one…HUGE deal
3. Pictures in the hall – Q2
4. Crochet a blanket – Q2
5. Baby Stuff in swap shop – Q2
6. Scrapbook Russia pix – Q3
7. Mosaic – Q3
8. Curtain – Q4

Now that that is all on the table my 1st Quarter 2011 goals I will complete on or before March 31st include:

1. Lose 6 lbs
2. Volunteer 3 different times
3. Visit Granny once
4. Complete PMP Cert
5. Complete Scott’s Office
6. Increment my miles beginning with 1 in January and running 3 by March 31st
7. Trip to Goodwill or prep for swap shop

It is a weight off my shoulders just seeing the list and now I can move toward something.

Thank you Martin Luther King, Jr., the Presidents and meeting free Friday…7 days of ME time (hopefully) this quarter.

So internet…it’s out there…GO!

Confessions of an Unintentional Insomniac

How can you be an “unintentional insomniac”?  When you need to work 34 hours and you have 2.5 days to do it…you gotta give up something. 

This week is one of those weeks where I am breathing deeply and taking it a day at a time while really…really…trying to plan ahead.  If I do any more you are likely to find me rocking back and forth in the corner hysterically laughing and crying at the same time.

Once a week I come to work around 3am and work until 5pm, usually on Wednesdays.  I do this for multiple reasons…to bank about 6 hours during the week for “unplanned” hours away from the office but mostly to bank them to use the following week to be able to take advantage of a 9/80 week.  For me…doing it all in one day versus an extra hour a day is so much more productive.

As I mentioned before Wednesdays are the day I normally come in early but that didn’t work for this week and the only day that did…Monday morning.  I figured I had to work 15 hours in one day and still be able to take my car in for a re-repair and maintain the hours I need to get in for the week…while juggling the additional time I need off this week.  Can you tell I don’t have any vacation?

My Monday started at 10 pm Sunday night.  Random observations: there is a lot more people on the road at 9:30 at night versus 2:30 in the morning…prolly a lot less intoxicated too.  Hooters and IHOP are packed on a Sunday night.

When I came in I immediately hit a wall.  Thankfully I brought in my Tazo Chai and Almond milk for a homemade Chai Latte.  I shut my office door, cranked me some Blue October…their entire discography…sang out loud and managed to crank out a good bit of work.  Before I knew it 6 am rolled around and I began to hear movement in the building. 

 Now I’m bouncing off the walls Cornholio style.

 

 I have a stash of 5 hour energy right before lunch and one more latte to get me through my afternoon meeting and I anticipate I’ll crash shortly after the kiddos are tucked in. 

Energy shots…up!  <clinck>

VitaTop Special

I saw this on my Twitter this morning and I thought I would share.

Vitalicious is running a Hungry Girl special on a “HG-Developed Chocolate VitaTops Only” pack. FREE SHIPPING (enter promo code:HGYum).

For $28…the pack includes:

• 6 Fudgy Peanut Butter Chip VitaTops
• 6 Souble Chocolate Dream VitaTops
• 6 Banana Fudge VitaTops
• 6 Triple Chocolate Chunk VitaTops

Offer expires 8/26/10 at midnight…Details are located at the bottom of the page on the link below…

http://www.hungry-girl.com/chew/chewdetails.php?isid=2164

Enjoy!

saw

How to lose 20lbs in 16 weeks

I’m not a doctor; this is my personal experience with weight loss. If you chose to embark on a weight loss plan please consult your doctor.

March 2, 2010 I began my quest to lose weight before my high school reunion on June 19th. More correctly I used my reunion and subsequent trip to California as motivation to lose weight.

Reluctantly here are my stats…

• age - 37 when I began, now 38
• height - 5’8
• currenty weight –  169
• two sons ages 6 and 2

My backstory…I’ve always been physcially active, played competitive soccer for 20 years and had to officially retire due to back problems in 1998.  After back surgery in 2001 I managed to attempt to play volleyball but not without each night ending in excruciating back pain and often times crawling up the stairs to my apartment.  I never obsessed about food, I guess because I was always physically very active.

My fighting weight hung around the 140/145 range. This is me at 31 (April 2003).

LOL…blonde and in New Orleans, just after a swamp tour, I was just a kid…good times.

Bourbon Street during Jazz Fest April 2003. The BF (future hubby) surprised me with a trip to see Matchbox Twenty and Maroon 5. I was sooo cute and two fistin it apparently (not really)!

Here I am in Moscow, Russia in August 2003.

The pictures are all from 2003 BEFORE I got pregnant in October of 2003.

During my first pregnancy I gained 30 lbs and I managed to get back to 155 and pretty much maintain there…here is me before my 2nd pregnancy in 2007.

I think at that point I was 150ish.

My second pregnancy saw a gain of 33 lbs and I settled in at around 169. I didn’t really SEE myself until after our Las Vegas trip. Oh my goodness…I look like my MOTHER. Yeah, I look like her anyway but I’ve always maintained a thinner version and I was ok with that…now I REALLY looked like her. This is me in Vegas, June 2009, I am 37.

Unfortunately, even seeing that picture didn’t motivate me enough to really turn it around. Eating bad just felt good…in the moment but not so much after.

I’m not addicted to food but I am addicted to easy. It is WAY easier to stop by a fast food establishment to grab lunch/or dinner. It is much easier to grocery shop from memory than a meal plan.

With the help of reading weight loss blogs found here and here and the impending summer activities I finally flipped a switch and figured if I’m going to do this I need to do it now, I’m not getting any younger.

March 2nd I began. I started slowly and I think that was the key to making this way of eating and exercise part of my lifestyle and not just a temporary fix to a problem.

A bit about me…I’m notorious for beginning things and not really finishing. I am pumped and gung ho then in about a week or two I’m over it. This time I tried one thing at a time and focused on doing it well before I moved onto the next.

My plan was to use Body for Life (BFL) as a guideline for meeting my goals. Only this time I spent two weeks working on my clean eating choices without the burden of figuring out how to exercise. This allowed me to focus and become comfortable with fueling my body properly and in a healthy way.

After two weeks I incorporated exercise into the plan using the BFL plan. I worked out 6 days a week and enjoyed a free day. For the cardio I utilized the couch to 5K running program. I never did do the 5K but I am now back up to running 3 miles. I ran a ½ marathon back in 2007 and it’s hard to push through when you see yourself struggle with a measly three miles when you were doing 10 at any given time. Breathe deeply…it’s all perspective.

This worked for me but I didn’t see the lbs coming off as fast as I wanted. Was this BFL’s fault? NOPE. Truth be told I cheated…not terribly but enough to make a difference, in my opinion. For the most part I stayed on plan but there would be small snacks here and there that threw my macros off.

I believe marcros is the key…According to BFL, 40/20/20 (protein, fat and carbs) ratio is the ideal nutrition for weight loss …keep track of your protein, fat and carb numbers per meal.  And it looks like other plans are confirming the same(P90X).

One easy way to keep track of your macros is mydailyplate.com. If you find yourself not losing weight you will very quickly be able to spot where you may be over doing it or deficient. My problem was carbs…nasty yummy weight loss stealers.

Before my second pregnancy I lost weight using the “Crack the Fat Loss Code” philosophy. I lost about 10 lbs back then. The thing about cracking is the first week you go through a carb deplete (max of 20 g of carbs per day). Eeek.

Normally, I found it to be torturous but this time around I didn’t have any issues, I attribute it to the clean eating. I lost 6lbs in one week and that kept me motivated to keep going… the BFL way.

I continued to run then turned to 30 minute Shred about a month out as it was becoming increasingly more difficult to get my weight training in due to various commitments.

In the end I lost 20 lbs (149), back in March I was hoping for 30.

Don’t get me wrong…I’m super excited to have that weight gone and I am fitting into clothes I haven’t worn in 7 years…but I look back and wonder if I would have been more diligent if I would have made the 30.

I’ve taken the last several weeks and not really cared what I’ve eaten. I’ve gained 5 back and I’m ok with that but I have a much bigger goal. My goal is to get down to 135 and maintain between 135 and 140.

I’m beginning the journey again. I am working toward a loss of 20 lbs by Thanksgiving, 14 weeks.

My plan for this go round is to P90X it the entire time. I’ve heard a lot of things about it and I’m curious…so now is as good as any to try it on and see how it fits.

I can totally do this and I’m very excited…I don’t think I’ve seen the 130’s in 15 years. EEKK…I may have in the 2002/2003 timeframe but I didn’t own a scale back then so I can’t be sure.

Here is me…June 2010, before…at 38.

After….check back for the “after” pix in 14 weeks.

Meanwhile…I will continue to update…weekly on my progress.

Daydream Believer…

I had to post a link to this blog. How amazingly creative!

http://milasdaydreams.blogspot.com/